Inevitably, there is a point in my run, where I think to myself, "I've gone far enough." Usually, this is at the one or two mile point. How many other people, especially individuals my age and weight, are out running everyday? I have not ever, in my entire life, seen anyone close to my size running. So I justify this to myself, that a mile or two is more than most people have done today. So since I've done more than most, I'm ready to quit.
My legs are just getting warmed up at the one mile mark. "They," say that it takes 10 minutes to warm your muscles up. So when I hit my one mile mark, there is only a subtle difference between my legs being warmed up and my legs being done. But I press on. One foot in front of the other stumbling forward. What is this drive, this motivation, this stupidity to keep going?
What makes me think that running is a good idea? Short answer is, I have no idea. I ran two miles today, and am angered at myself. Ok, I ran 1.75 miles, and walked the last quarter mile. Absolute lack of motivation. I was motivated prior to getting out there. I had a dream about Deena Kastor the other night, and was looking forward to running all week, as if i were actually a seasoned marathoner. I enjoy pretending that I am a marathoner, although I have not yet completed one. Rest assured I will. I have people who won't let me quit. I wish those people were running with me today. The Austin Marathon is in Feb of 2011. The Rocket City Marathon is Dec 2010. These things I want to do.
Today was a total let down. Hopefully this anger rolls into tomorrow, and I will do better.
I have set a goal, over the next 30 days, I will run 175 miles.